Sweet Dreams

I love to sleep
Not because I'm lazy
But because I have a date
A fantasy from beyond
It's the only time I get to see him
My beloved

Parting is not a sweet sorrow
I hold on to memories of every moment we had to share
And relive them every night
It's the only way I get to see him
My beloved

The distance that keeps us apart
Leaves me in a vortex of emotion
Forced into a bitter situation
With dreaming, my only intoxication
Coz it's the only way I get to see him
My beloved

I've loved and I've lost
Ready to hold on to the yearning for an embrace
Trapped in a past life, victim of circumstance
Thoughts of him leave me in a trance
But it's the only way I get to see him
My beloved

A prayer for my future
My hopes and dreams fulfilled
A unity of two made one
A destiny fulfilled at long last
When I will finally see him
My beloved

Prayer for a lost soul

My words are so carefully conjugated

Flowing through my mind as though once constipated

Leaving hurt and destruction, yes, they have demonstrated

True effects of choices made wrong, but instigated

Searching to find truth among lies told, from both young and old

This world is just turning out to be too cold

Empowered by the right question

Answers investigated in the wrong places

And trusting innocent faces

Or so they seem

I’m lost in the struggle to break into reality

Coz there’s only one answer not so plain to see

Show me the answer and let me breathe

Show me the hope I lost to the desire of what’s around

Show me the way to peace

My heart is done; it’s almost out of beats

But should my heart not beat while I have been beat

Then let me start over and let’s call that a dream

Time is running out but I have to make things right

I have to let go of wrong, find right, and hold on tight

Afraid to make the choice but with you, I know I am right

And the only way to be right

Is to release myself at your feet

Arise I will as you grow in me

Fill every cell in me like it’s osmosis

Take control and erase the neurosis

Break the bonds of slavery to the world

Here I am once again

Broken beyond repair

Be the glue to make me brand new

And let us arise as one; mind, body and soul

And through me, speak in tongues of AWESOME

Amen.

WHEN LOVE IS IRRESISTIBLY PAINFUL

The day you told me you love me,
You broke my heart
With those three words you made a million promises
Promises that you couldn’t keep
Probably knew it
When you said it
But you just had to
Get my hopes up 
And let me believe in you

And again 
Comes the pain
Again
Comes the realization of how foolish and blind love can be
Again 
Comes the promise to let you go
And again
Comes the reason why I let you go
You beat me up and let me yell out in pain
Just so you can feel like a man
Constantly raping and defiling me
Making me feel less like a woman and more like a used tampon discarded in the toilet
Constantly using, abusing and confusing me
Making me feel less human and more like a used piece of tissue
Flushed down the toilet along with the rejects of your stomach

Days go by and and the pain continues
Another sunday comes and its time to fake a smile
Time to keep up the act, to hide the fact that I'm hurting
In my heart and in my mind
To the depth of my soul this hurt penetrates
The bruises on my skin represent your 'love' for me
I have to see you everyday
Got nowhere to hide
No one knows what goes on inside, 
You've got me too scared to speak out and admit what's going on

But then you smile at me
Then you're polite and nice and sweet
The real definition of a man
And then, comes the realization that I cant let you go
I forgive 
All your mistakes
Packed up and shipped out
Ready for a fresh start with you
And again 
Comes the longing to see your face 
Again 
Comes the longing to see your smile that shows just how much you care
And again 
I fall for you
I open up my heart and 
I let you in
Doesn't matter how hard i try 
I can't seem to let you go 
Coz I’ll always love you, even though it hurts
Just like a daughter should. .  


DISCLAIMER: I HAVE AN AMAZING RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER, BUT I WROTE THIS STORY FOR THOSE THAT CAN'T TELL IT THEMSELVES

Die Another Day

There was once a great wall surrounding me

Big and strong, made of concrete and steel

At a time when I wasn’t looking to be rescued

But just felt I needed the time to wallow in my guilt

Sweetness, kindness, tender love and care

Your chosen weapons of mass destruction

To break down the fortress that had become my cage

You set me free

Almost a year later

And here we are

Here you are building the wall again

Feels suffocating but I’m helpless

The same weapons just won’t work on you

Alone and confused

Trying to understand but failing

But apparently, that makes the wall go higher

Lost with all hope depleting

I have but one choice to make

Suffocate or run while I still can

Ain’t that a damn shame

Should have seen this coming

But no time for shoulda, woulda, coulda

It seems I can’t survive without suffocating

Neither can I survive if I continue suffocating

Maybe tomorrow my prayers will be answered

Or maybe today will just be my last. . . 

Be Prepared

This is about being prepared to fight in the war between good and evil. Choose your side and stand armed.

This is wat it feels like to be untitled 
Not restricted by words to define myself 
Appreciating my freedom and not afraid to use it 
I have the freedom to write what I feel without having to apologize just to make you smile 
Truth is what I speak 
I don’t mind being un-norm 
All I need is this mic to be heard 
I don’t mind being misunderstood 
I jus need to be felt 
So as long as you get the message that means you have felt 
Me and wat I mean to say 
I don’t need a script for this 
Reality this is 
Taking one day at a time 
One step at a time 
One breath at a time 
One bite at a time 
So--I--don’t--choke
 
Even in this cold 
World that spins 365 times 
I choose to survive 
Because above I will rise... 
They say the sky's the limit 
But what if I don't need a limit 
My destination is HEAVEN 
So shouldn't that be my limit 
I refuse to inhibit 
My potential shall be explored just like an exhibit 
I will sing a song and dance along 
In celebration of tomorrow 
The world of tomorrow… 
How I long for tomorrow 
How I long for the days when there is peace in this world 
Through this spoken word 
That’s a cause 
Pause…….
 
A moment of silence for all those that won't be there tomorrow 
Fight we shall in their honor and on their behalf for tomorrow 
When tomorrow does come we will be prepard 
No more excuses of ignorance and illiteracy 
No more pain jus to gain our hearts desires 
They shall be served to us on a silver platter 
As the promises of tomorrow are fulfilled 
And the truth of tomorrow is revealed 
And tomorrow this world be destroyed….. 
But the Question is…. 
ARE YOU PREPARED????? 

The art of the act

This is a piece about knowing exactly who you are according to God's word and standing firm.


I am perspicacious
Please don't ask me to break it down
By doing so, you take me down
Force me to contradict 
What I believe is Strict-ly
Extremely and Randomly
AWSOMEly fabulous!!!!!!!!
If only the life course were so obvious
And all we had to do was follow the yellow brick road

I wonder why it has to be so complicated
Easily misintepreted
Now these words are making my mind so constipated
Times I wish I had verbal diarrhoea 
Then maybe these words could just write themselves
That's how these rappers extraodinaire
Write their lyrics and call themselves so debonair
Then we praise em and comment on their swag
They know we love it as we put their cds in the bag
Fall in love with their money
And let them taste you and call you honey
But when they are done wit you, there goes the money
And no more baby or honey
Your just that whore from las nyt, 
Can't even remember your name
They call it the price of fame
Let you lose yourself just so they remember your name
But there is no guarantee to this fame
So they still dont bother to remember your name......

But that's just how it is 
Coz that's how we let it be
We give them free reign 
Oblivious to how wrong it truly be
Explicitly lewd lyrics are so cool
That's what everybody talks about at school
Parents having double standards as they raise their kids
......Do as i say but not as i do.....
Punish them for drinkin and yet it was your bottle
That's just dark and twisted

Once questionable habits no longer questioned
So accepted they are so easily mentioned
Do wateva you want and you won't be questioned
That's how we live, that's how we get mentioned
We like what's on tv and only ask one question
How do I be like them???
So ready to break down the brick walls that guard your soul
So ready to let it lose shape so you can remould it
So ready to become what you saw on that flat screen
But you forget it wasn't real, that's just a show
You walk around and flaunt it till you become the show
You lose yourself and you also lose your flow
It takes a while for the consequences to truly show
After a while you slowly realise that just below the glow
Your just a broken down fake nobody that no-one wants
No turnin back, times up, it's time to see what you've become
HE sees you're a disappoinment so you get thrown
You wonder how you could have known
You remember your untouched bible is how you should have known
But the damage is already done
You've used your life but you only get one
Back to the present, you still have some time
Declare yourself, declare who you'll become........

I AM PERSPICACIOUS BUT I REFUSE TO BE BROKEN DOWN