I love to sleep
Not because I'm lazy
But because I have a date
A fantasy from beyond
It's the only time I get to see him
My beloved
Parting is not a sweet sorrow
I hold on to memories of every moment we had to share
And relive them every night
It's the only way I get to see him
My beloved
The distance that keeps us apart
Leaves me in a vortex of emotion
Forced into a bitter situation
With dreaming, my only intoxication
Coz it's the only way I get to see him
My beloved
I've loved and I've lost
Ready to hold on to the yearning for an embrace
Trapped in a past life, victim of circumstance
Thoughts of him leave me in a trance
But it's the only way I get to see him
My beloved
A prayer for my future
My hopes and dreams fulfilled
A unity of two made one
A destiny fulfilled at long last
When I will finally see him
My beloved
Tapsumbong with Auxilia
A young lady trying to figure out what this life is about. This is my platform for thoughts, feelings and spoken literature that otherwise may not be revealed to the public.
Thursday, 18 October 2012
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Prayer for a lost soul
My words are so carefully conjugated
Flowing through my mind as though once constipated
Leaving hurt and destruction, yes, they have demonstrated
True effects of choices made wrong, but instigated
Searching to find truth among lies told, from both young and
old
This world is just turning out to be too cold
Empowered by the right question
Answers investigated in the wrong places
And trusting innocent faces
Or so they seem
I’m lost in the struggle to break into reality
Coz there’s only one answer not so plain to see
Show me the answer and let me breathe
Show me the hope I lost to the desire of what’s around
Show me the way to peace
My heart is done; it’s almost out of beats
But should my heart not beat while I have been beat
Then let me start over and let’s call that a dream
Time is running out but I have to make things right
I have to let go of wrong, find right, and hold on tight
Afraid to make the choice but with you, I know I am right
And the only way to be right
Is to release myself at your feet
Arise I will as you grow in me
Fill every cell in me like it’s osmosis
Take control and erase the neurosis
Break the bonds of slavery to the world
Here I am once again
Broken beyond repair
Be the glue to make me brand new
And let us arise as one; mind, body and soul
And through me, speak in tongues of AWESOME
Amen.
Friday, 16 March 2012
WHEN LOVE IS IRRESISTIBLY PAINFUL
The day you told me you love me,
You broke my heart
With those three words you made a million promises
Promises that you couldn’t keep
Probably knew it
When you said it
But you just had to
Get my hopes up
And let me believe in you
And again
Comes the pain
Again
Comes the realization of how foolish and blind love can be
Again
Comes the promise to let you go
And again
Comes the reason why I let you go
You beat me up and let me yell out in pain
Just so you can feel like a man
Constantly raping and defiling me
Making me feel less like a woman and more like a used tampon discarded in the toilet
Constantly using, abusing and confusing me
Making me feel less human and more like a used piece of tissue
Flushed down the toilet along with the rejects of your stomach
Days go by and and the pain continues
Another sunday comes and its time to fake a smile
Time to keep up the act, to hide the fact that I'm hurting
In my heart and in my mind
To the depth of my soul this hurt penetrates
The bruises on my skin represent your 'love' for me
I have to see you everyday
Got nowhere to hide
No one knows what goes on inside,
You've got me too scared to speak out and admit what's going on
But then you smile at me
Then you're polite and nice and sweet
The real definition of a man
And then, comes the realization that I cant let you go
I forgive
All your mistakes
Packed up and shipped out
Ready for a fresh start with you
And again
Comes the longing to see your face
Again
Comes the longing to see your smile that shows just how much you care
And again
I fall for you
I open up my heart and
I let you in
Doesn't matter how hard i try
I can't seem to let you go
Coz I’ll always love you, even though it hurts
Just like a daughter should. .
DISCLAIMER: I HAVE AN AMAZING RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER, BUT I WROTE THIS STORY FOR THOSE THAT CAN'T TELL IT THEMSELVES
You broke my heart
With those three words you made a million promises
Promises that you couldn’t keep
Probably knew it
When you said it
But you just had to
Get my hopes up
And let me believe in you
And again
Comes the pain
Again
Comes the realization of how foolish and blind love can be
Again
Comes the promise to let you go
And again
Comes the reason why I let you go
You beat me up and let me yell out in pain
Just so you can feel like a man
Constantly raping and defiling me
Making me feel less like a woman and more like a used tampon discarded in the toilet
Constantly using, abusing and confusing me
Making me feel less human and more like a used piece of tissue
Flushed down the toilet along with the rejects of your stomach
Days go by and and the pain continues
Another sunday comes and its time to fake a smile
Time to keep up the act, to hide the fact that I'm hurting
In my heart and in my mind
To the depth of my soul this hurt penetrates
The bruises on my skin represent your 'love' for me
I have to see you everyday
Got nowhere to hide
No one knows what goes on inside,
You've got me too scared to speak out and admit what's going on
But then you smile at me
Then you're polite and nice and sweet
The real definition of a man
And then, comes the realization that I cant let you go
I forgive
All your mistakes
Packed up and shipped out
Ready for a fresh start with you
And again
Comes the longing to see your face
Again
Comes the longing to see your smile that shows just how much you care
And again
I fall for you
I open up my heart and
I let you in
Doesn't matter how hard i try
I can't seem to let you go
Coz I’ll always love you, even though it hurts
Just like a daughter should. .
DISCLAIMER: I HAVE AN AMAZING RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER, BUT I WROTE THIS STORY FOR THOSE THAT CAN'T TELL IT THEMSELVES
Die Another Day
There was once a great wall surrounding me
Big and strong, made of concrete and steel
At a time when I wasn’t looking to be rescued
But just felt I needed the time to wallow in my guilt
Sweetness, kindness, tender love and care
Your chosen weapons of mass destruction
To break down the fortress that had become my cage
You set me free
Almost a year later
And here we are
Here you are building the wall again
Feels suffocating but I’m helpless
The same weapons just won’t work on you
Alone and confused
Trying to understand but failing
But apparently, that makes the wall go higher
Lost with all hope depleting
I have but one choice to make
Suffocate or run while I still can
Ain’t that a damn shame
Should have seen this coming
But no time for shoulda, woulda, coulda
It seems I can’t survive without suffocating
Neither can I survive if I continue suffocating
Maybe tomorrow my prayers will be answered
Or maybe today will just be my last. . .
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Be Prepared
This is about being prepared to fight in the war between good and evil. Choose your side and stand armed.
This is wat it feels like to be untitled
Not restricted by words to define myself
Appreciating my freedom and not afraid to use it
I have the freedom to write what I feel without having to apologize just to make you smile
Truth is what I speak
I don’t mind being un-norm
All I need is this mic to be heard
I don’t mind being misunderstood
I jus need to be felt
So as long as you get the message that means you have felt
Me and wat I mean to say
I don’t need a script for this
Reality this is
Taking one day at a time
One step at a time
One breath at a time
One bite at a time
So--I--don’t--choke
Even in this cold
World that spins 365 times
I choose to survive
Because above I will rise...
They say the sky's the limit
But what if I don't need a limit
My destination is HEAVEN
So shouldn't that be my limit
I refuse to inhibit
My potential shall be explored just like an exhibit
I will sing a song and dance along
In celebration of tomorrow
The world of tomorrow…
How I long for tomorrow
How I long for the days when there is peace in this world
Through this spoken word
That’s a cause
Pause…….
A moment of silence for all those that won't be there tomorrow
Fight we shall in their honor and on their behalf for tomorrow
When tomorrow does come we will be prepard
No more excuses of ignorance and illiteracy
No more pain jus to gain our hearts desires
They shall be served to us on a silver platter
As the promises of tomorrow are fulfilled
And the truth of tomorrow is revealed
And tomorrow this world be destroyed…..
But the Question is….
ARE YOU PREPARED?????
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
The art of the act
This is a piece about knowing exactly who you are according to God's word and standing firm.
I am perspicacious
Please don't ask me to break it down
By doing so, you take me down
Force me to contradict
What I believe is Strict-ly
Extremely and Randomly
AWSOMEly fabulous!!!!!!!!
If only the life course were so obvious
And all we had to do was follow the yellow brick road
I wonder why it has to be so complicated
Easily misintepreted
Now these words are making my mind so constipated
Times I wish I had verbal diarrhoea
Then maybe these words could just write themselves
That's how these rappers extraodinaire
Write their lyrics and call themselves so debonair
Then we praise em and comment on their swag
They know we love it as we put their cds in the bag
Fall in love with their money
And let them taste you and call you honey
But when they are done wit you, there goes the money
And no more baby or honey
Your just that whore from las nyt,
Can't even remember your name
They call it the price of fame
Let you lose yourself just so they remember your name
But there is no guarantee to this fame
So they still dont bother to remember your name......
But that's just how it is
Coz that's how we let it be
We give them free reign
Oblivious to how wrong it truly be
Explicitly lewd lyrics are so cool
That's what everybody talks about at school
Parents having double standards as they raise their kids
......Do as i say but not as i do.....
Punish them for drinkin and yet it was your bottle
That's just dark and twisted
Once questionable habits no longer questioned
So accepted they are so easily mentioned
Do wateva you want and you won't be questioned
That's how we live, that's how we get mentioned
We like what's on tv and only ask one question
How do I be like them???
So ready to break down the brick walls that guard your soul
So ready to let it lose shape so you can remould it
So ready to become what you saw on that flat screen
But you forget it wasn't real, that's just a show
You walk around and flaunt it till you become the show
You lose yourself and you also lose your flow
It takes a while for the consequences to truly show
After a while you slowly realise that just below the glow
Your just a broken down fake nobody that no-one wants
No turnin back, times up, it's time to see what you've become
HE sees you're a disappoinment so you get thrown
You wonder how you could have known
You remember your untouched bible is how you should have known
But the damage is already done
You've used your life but you only get one
Back to the present, you still have some time
Declare yourself, declare who you'll become........
I AM PERSPICACIOUS BUT I REFUSE TO BE BROKEN DOWN
I am perspicacious
Please don't ask me to break it down
By doing so, you take me down
Force me to contradict
What I believe is Strict-ly
Extremely and Randomly
AWSOMEly fabulous!!!!!!!!
If only the life course were so obvious
And all we had to do was follow the yellow brick road
I wonder why it has to be so complicated
Easily misintepreted
Now these words are making my mind so constipated
Times I wish I had verbal diarrhoea
Then maybe these words could just write themselves
That's how these rappers extraodinaire
Write their lyrics and call themselves so debonair
Then we praise em and comment on their swag
They know we love it as we put their cds in the bag
Fall in love with their money
And let them taste you and call you honey
But when they are done wit you, there goes the money
And no more baby or honey
Your just that whore from las nyt,
Can't even remember your name
They call it the price of fame
Let you lose yourself just so they remember your name
But there is no guarantee to this fame
So they still dont bother to remember your name......
But that's just how it is
Coz that's how we let it be
We give them free reign
Oblivious to how wrong it truly be
Explicitly lewd lyrics are so cool
That's what everybody talks about at school
Parents having double standards as they raise their kids
......Do as i say but not as i do.....
Punish them for drinkin and yet it was your bottle
That's just dark and twisted
Once questionable habits no longer questioned
So accepted they are so easily mentioned
Do wateva you want and you won't be questioned
That's how we live, that's how we get mentioned
We like what's on tv and only ask one question
How do I be like them???
So ready to break down the brick walls that guard your soul
So ready to let it lose shape so you can remould it
So ready to become what you saw on that flat screen
But you forget it wasn't real, that's just a show
You walk around and flaunt it till you become the show
You lose yourself and you also lose your flow
It takes a while for the consequences to truly show
After a while you slowly realise that just below the glow
Your just a broken down fake nobody that no-one wants
No turnin back, times up, it's time to see what you've become
HE sees you're a disappoinment so you get thrown
You wonder how you could have known
You remember your untouched bible is how you should have known
But the damage is already done
You've used your life but you only get one
Back to the present, you still have some time
Declare yourself, declare who you'll become........
I AM PERSPICACIOUS BUT I REFUSE TO BE BROKEN DOWN
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